If you have ever struggled with acne you know how hard it can be, and if you are struggling with acne I want you to know that you are not alone. I have never stood in front of this camera and had a conversation with you guys without my makeup on, in full HD, but here I am. And honestly I didn’t see myself ever doing this while my skin looked like this just because partially of my own insecurity but because I’m scared of what the internet is going to say. Even looking past what people might say about me will anyone even want to watch me because I have bad skin.
These are all things that run through my mind on a daily basis, and not to mention the fear that everyone is going to say “You look so much different without makeup on” or “that you look so much different on the internet” because God forbid that I look different in my best hair, my best outfit, my best makeup, in front of the best lighting, in all of the right circumstances that I might look different than when I just roll out of bed. I’ve become used to having acne not in the way that I’ve just accepted it that I’m not trying to progressively fix it because I’m pretty sure anyone who has acne can tell you that they are trying to fix their acne and that they’ve probably tried many different things to fix their acne.
But I have become used to it in the sense that I don’t mind going out into public without any makeup. It doesn’t freak me out! It doesn’t bother me when I can feel people just looking at my skin. I think the thing to remind yourself is it’s just like anything else. If someone has wrinkles, if someone is going grey if someone is losing hair it’s like it’s not all that you see in a person it’s a completely normal natural thing.
Having acne is not easy. I will be the first one to tell you that I know firsthand what’s it’s like to go out somewhere and be treated two completely different ways just based off of whether I am wearing makeup that day or not. It is a very very real thing and I know a lot of you might be thinking it’s more about how I feel about myself and the kind of vibe I’m putting off but I am telling you I am completely comfortable being in public without makeup on. It was something that took me so long to learn that it was so much more about what was on the inside of me that doesn’t matter that my skin is bad. There is so much more to you than your skin, than your hair than your outfit, than any of that stupid bullshit that everyone puts so much of an emphasis on.
Even me! I’m so guilty of putting an emphasis on it. It’s just hard you guys sit here, and you see me in full face of foundation, in front of great lighting you see me on Instagram and you see me on Snapchat under great filters and great lighting and you don’t see a real person. Honestly, you don’t! Because so many of you message me saying “you’re so pretty”, “you’re gorgeous’, this, that, “I wish I looked like you” “I wish I had your body” and it’s like that’s not what I look like all the time. You know? You’re seeing me at my very best and I know you at your best is just as amazing as whatever you see me as. It breaks my heart when people say they wished they looked like me because I have sat there and done that over so many people We get so wrapped up in comparing ourselves to all these people on social media that we perceive as perfect and I am so freaking guilty of this! I am guilty of this too.
But we are seeing them at their best and not even only at their best but there is so much retouching, so many filters, so much this, yada that, you are not seeing who they really are. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaws. I get comments on some of my videos saying things like, “I hate how I look because I have acne” “I don’t want to go out into public” “I don’t want to go back to school” “People make fun of me for my acne” And I just want you to know that acne does not define you. You don’t have to wear makeup, you don’t have to fear what other people are going to think about your skin because you are beautiful the way that you are. And every time you even try to go there I want you to sit there and point out five things that you like about yourself.
As silly as that sounds when you first start doing it, it might not be that easy! I remember when I first started trying to do things like this and changing the way that I thought about myself I found it incredibly hard. Who would’ve thought that it’s so much easier to criticize yourself than actually compliment yourself. I wish I could sit there and give each and every one of you a compliment because I know that if I saw each and every one of you that you are all beautiful people.
There is something beautiful about each and every one of you. Physically, mentally, I just like… It breaks my heart because I’ve been there. I’ve stood in front of a mirror and not like anything that I’ve seen. I’ve stood there and I’ve depict myself to pieces and the hardest part the HARDEST part about being on the internet is people will tear you the fuck apart. And I think it’s so easy for people to say don’t let it get to you when it’s not you. When it’s not something that you are so attached to. Even just talking about this I literally have goosebumps because it just hits so close to home for me because I know what you’re going through. It wasn’t very long ago that I literally wouldn’t go anywhere without makeup on. It wasn’t very long ago that I didn’t want to get out of bed because I had acne. Because I was scared what other people were going to think. It wasn’t very long ago that I couldn’t look in a mirror and point out one thing that I like about myself.
I have been there and I know what you’re going through. I want you to know that what you’re feeling isn’t unjustified but after today I want you to start loving yourself. I don’t want you to waste another minute of your life worrying about stupid things like your skin! It’s going to be okay. It’s going to pass. It gets better! You are never going to be as young as you are today. You are never going to have more life ahead of you as you do right this minute. Do you really want to spend another minute of your life hating yourself over something as stupid as a medical condition that you can’t control whatsoever I just wish I could give you all a big hug because honestly I wish I could be there for you. I wish I could be your friend, I wish I could tell you that none of this shit matters from something other than behind a camera so I could actually hold you accountable for it.
I wish I could drag you in front of my mirror right now and force you to say five things you like about yourself and not let you leave until you do. I wish I had this realization sooner, I wish that I loved myself sooner. But I am never going to get that time back. And neither are you. I don’t want you to live your life thinking that you are not good enough because of your skin. I honestly hope that you guys have this same life realization that I’ve had because life is too short to get up every day and not love yourself. I cannot tell you how many years I wasted hating myself and hating my skin hating my weight, hating my hair, hating this, hating that.
The kind of person that I was because I wasn’t happy with myself was not the kind of person I would want to be around, not the kind of person that I am anymore. This is just really hard for me because of course it brings up emotions and of course it’s been hard it’s not easy having acne it’s not just what people say it’s how you feel about yourself and how it’s the only thing that you can see on yourself. Every single person you meet has the magical cure to acne. Everyone wants to talk to you about your diet, everyone is always constantly on me about drinking and about what I’m eating because it’s making my skin worse and blah blah blah blah blah. I am twenty two years old, I eat predominately healthy like most of the time but I am not going to live my life in fear that what I am eating is going to give me more acne. I’m not going to live my life not eating pizza which I love and not drinking alcohol which I am of age to drink. I just don’t want to live my life like that and if you want to live your life like that you go for it.
And for all of you guys out there giving advice about acne if someone doesn’t ask you don’t give them the advice. It’s kind of like if someone doesn’t ask you how to lose weight, you probably shouldn’t just tell them. You know what I mean? For all my fellow people out there with acne, it does get better. Believe me girl, it gets better. And while you have acne I hope you can do what I do and take this time to really learn to love what is on the inside regardless of what’s on the outside really love who you are on the inside because that makes all of the difference.
That’s the only reason that I am able to stand in front of you here today. If you are in need of a compliment comment down below ‘compliment me’ and I will leave you a compliment. I’m going to do my very very best, I am honestly pretty freaking good at responding to all of my comments but I’m gonna do my best. If you are still watching this, if you are still here thank you for listening to me talk this was extremely extremely difficult for me. I want you guys to know that I am not only saying that whatever you perceive as your flaw is not only okay but it’s okay to show it but to be proud of it and okay with it and that I’m actually out here and that I’m doing it myself. I want you guys to know that you shouldn’t have to feel like you have to hide your flaws that it’s okay to be human and to not be what you perceive as “perfect” to not be society’s standard of perfect and to just give a big to society’s standards.
You are amazing, thank you so much for watching this video and as always, I can’t wait to see you in my next video. Bye! .
As found on Youtube